My opinions about PU – interview for MX magazine
December 19, 2007 · Print This Article
This is an interview I did for MX magazine in June 07. It hasn’t been published for some reason, but it explains a lot of my opinions and ideas about pickup.
How did you become a pick-up artist?
I was always interested in becoming better with women. I had women coming in and out of my life – but there was a distinct pattern. The ones that I wasn’t attracted to were very attracted to me and wanted to continue a relationship. The ones I got with and was very attracted to – I became very needy to and lost their affection by not being a strong man.
Ever since the age of 15 I was looking for resources to get better – I physically felt like I have this hole in my chest, something prevented my happiness. But I didn’t know what to look for, even though the internet was around. I read heaps of books on how to be more romantic, and consistently ran searches one search engines on “what do women want?”. The results I got from reading mainstream literature were zero.
I read about Mystery method in an interview with him in Marie Claire magazine when I was in Thailand. I ripped the page, but completely forgot about it. When I got back home, the following situation happened. I was in a food court in a mall with a friend (after watching a movie) and this beautiful girl made eye contact with me. It was very late and the place was empty. My friend noticed my nervousness and asked if I wanted to meet her. I said I did, and asked him if “he can hook me up“. He looked at me like I was crazy. We went over to her table, my heart was beating a hundred miles an hour, and he just said “hey we’re bored. Can we sit with you?”. She and her friend (female) agreed. We spent the next 20 minutes talking, and I felt like we had something going. Then someone came to pick her up and take her home, and she and her friend left the table. I didn’t know why I didn’t ask for her phone number, but I knew I wanted to try again. The girl worked in that mall at a cafe.
A couple of days later, after some strong self motivation I went there, trying to be all cool. She was in shift and remembered me and smiled. I sat down, with my laptop (I went alone and felt I needed an excuse..) and flirted a tiny bit with her before giving her my order. For the next 15 minutes, I was nervous as hell, and relentlessly talking to my friends on MSN messenger asking them for advice on how to proceed. When I looked up – she was gone. Her shift was over. I felt like such a failure – even when I get the motivation to do this, I can’t pull it off.
I went back home and couldn’t fall asleep.
An hour into my sleep, the article about Mystery Method sprang to mind. I went to the website, downloaded some material and my eyes were opened. Seeing that I already had some experience with girls before, I could relate to eveything he said. This stuff rang true. Slowly I started reading more material, finding the seduction community forums and people I could relate to. In February 2006 I approached the first girl ever that I didn’t know in a bar. She liked me. My new life began.
Ever since the age of 15 I was looking for resources to get better – I physically felt like I have this hole in my chest, something prevented my happiness. But I didn’t know what to look for, even though the internet was around. I read heaps of books on how to be more romantic, and consistently ran searches one search engines on “what do women want?”. The results I got from reading mainstream literature were zero.
I read about Mystery method in an interview with him in Marie Claire magazine when I was in Thailand. I ripped the page, but completely forgot about it. When I got back home, the following situation happened. I was in a food court in a mall with a friend (after watching a movie) and this beautiful girl made eye contact with me. It was very late and the place was empty. My friend noticed my nervousness and asked if I wanted to meet her. I said I did, and asked him if “he can hook me up“. He looked at me like I was crazy. We went over to her table, my heart was beating a hundred miles an hour, and he just said “hey we’re bored. Can we sit with you?”. She and her friend (female) agreed. We spent the next 20 minutes talking, and I felt like we had something going. Then someone came to pick her up and take her home, and she and her friend left the table. I didn’t know why I didn’t ask for her phone number, but I knew I wanted to try again. The girl worked in that mall at a cafe.
A couple of days later, after some strong self motivation I went there, trying to be all cool. She was in shift and remembered me and smiled. I sat down, with my laptop (I went alone and felt I needed an excuse..) and flirted a tiny bit with her before giving her my order. For the next 15 minutes, I was nervous as hell, and relentlessly talking to my friends on MSN messenger asking them for advice on how to proceed. When I looked up – she was gone. Her shift was over. I felt like such a failure – even when I get the motivation to do this, I can’t pull it off.
I went back home and couldn’t fall asleep.
An hour into my sleep, the article about Mystery Method sprang to mind. I went to the website, downloaded some material and my eyes were opened. Seeing that I already had some experience with girls before, I could relate to eveything he said. This stuff rang true. Slowly I started reading more material, finding the seduction community forums and people I could relate to. In February 2006 I approached the first girl ever that I didn’t know in a bar. She liked me. My new life began.
What do you do, as a PUA?
Simply put, I put myself into interactions with girls. This isn’t different than any other guy, apart from two things: Motivation and knowledge.
I have the knowledge to understand why I succeed when I do and how to become better. The concept of ‘getting lucky’ with girls has become completely irrelevant, and I keep seeing improvement in having more choice in my life. I guess the biggest difference is that I always have a roadmap helping me improve that part of my life. The thing that changes is my standards for women, as well as my ideas about relationships and what makes me happy.
As for motivation, knowing I can get better at this pushes me more than what a normal joe might be.
I have the knowledge to understand why I succeed when I do and how to become better. The concept of ‘getting lucky’ with girls has become completely irrelevant, and I keep seeing improvement in having more choice in my life. I guess the biggest difference is that I always have a roadmap helping me improve that part of my life. The thing that changes is my standards for women, as well as my ideas about relationships and what makes me happy.
As for motivation, knowing I can get better at this pushes me more than what a normal joe might be.
Can you please tell me a few of your experiences as a PUA?
I’ve met and engaged more beautiful, intelligent and sexy women in the last year and a half than what I have the rest of my life. There are entire conversations and interactions etched in my head forever, but they will remain between myself and those girls. Perhaps the highlight of my pickup ‘career’ would be an interaction with one such woman, who I later found out to be a very famous celebrity.
Are PUAs common in Brisbane?
Without giving numbers, the answer is not really. The so-called ‘pickup community’ is underground and for a very good reason. It takes a strong man to be honest to themselves and decide: “I want this part of my life fixed”. Personally, I think that the personal intimate relationships you have in your life are the single biggest decision you can make – at least as big as career choices. And yet, people choose to close their eyes and accept their situation – mostly out of ignorance to the existence of a solution and sometimes out of sheer fear of leaving their comfort zone. I am proud to be this kind of person and have respect for each person that chooses to walk down this path.
Do you teach others how to be a PUA?
I do. I work for a company teaching this stuff to guys. A couple of months ago, I was walking down one of Melbourne’s poshest streets with one of my students, a 28 year old virgin. His task was to stop a girl and tell her she was cute, and get a smile out of her. Years of programming have proved to him that this is dangerous and he will fail, and he was terrified. I had to push him (physically) to do it, but the smile he put on that beautiful girl’s face made him so happy. I am glad to be able to facilitate this change in this man’s life – a change that will undoubtedly affect the women he interacts with.
How do you think the women feel? Are they victims because they’re just practice targets?
No. I assume the question relates to guy in the beginning of their progress, without too much social awareness or understanding. If they find out that
someone is practicing on them they would usually just think he’s cheesy and ’shooting pick up lines’. If they don’t, he’s just a weird guy that says something random, which I believe ends up being a funny story. And if something develops with that girl, she is lucky to be with a guy who cares about being an attractive male – so that she will get an amazing experience out of their time together.
And as for guys who are experienced PUAs, they would appear as very honest, warm and fun people. The knowledge and understanding that exists in their mind doesn’t have any bearing on this.
someone is practicing on them they would usually just think he’s cheesy and ’shooting pick up lines’. If they don’t, he’s just a weird guy that says something random, which I believe ends up being a funny story. And if something develops with that girl, she is lucky to be with a guy who cares about being an attractive male – so that she will get an amazing experience out of their time together.
And as for guys who are experienced PUAs, they would appear as very honest, warm and fun people. The knowledge and understanding that exists in their mind doesn’t have any bearing on this.
Is it ethical what PUAs do? Do they care?
The purpose of learning to become a PUA is to be better with women. And that cannot be achieved without making them happy and adding value into their lives. There is no magic bullet or spell that can be cast to get a woman attracted to you – you have to go through a lengthy process of self growth. A big part of it is understanding the reality of women and being able to relate to them. So in fact, the deeper you get into ‘the game’ the more you care, respect and understand women.
What do you think will happen when the movie based on Neil Strauss’ book ‘The Game’ comes out?
The effect on the community will be minute. Some funny stories or one-liners that are used as crutches during learning periods will not be very useful anymore. Maybe more people will join the community – but that’s a good thing. We make better guys available for women, and these guys have standards. If there is a flux of people doing it (which personally I don’t predict) that will push men and women to become their best selves.
Should girls beware?
No.
Are there female PUAs?
Not as far as I know. But I have met girls who are much more socially savvy than most PUAs. As a general rule, the more attractive and social a girl the more interactions she’s had with men. At the highest levels, beautiful women get approached every day from the age of, say, 15. By the time they reach their twenties, they have thousands of conversations under their belt and have developed excellent abilities in screening guys just through conversation.
The information the community provides is just assistance. The real help is ‘field experience’ – the time you spend socialising. If I had to advise a woman on becoming better socially, I’d say what I say to the guys I coach. “Go out a lot, talk to a lot of people, and explore your boundaries by stepping out of your comfort zone.”
The information the community provides is just assistance. The real help is ‘field experience’ – the time you spend socialising. If I had to advise a woman on becoming better socially, I’d say what I say to the guys I coach. “Go out a lot, talk to a lot of people, and explore your boundaries by stepping out of your comfort zone.”
What would you do if you met a female PUA?
My current girlfriend (open relationship btw) has a lot of understanding in ‘the game’, without any formal study. We sometimes have lengthy discussions about how things really work as compared to how society says they work. Both me and her find it fascinating.
I guess if I met a female PUA I’d be more intrigued than anything else, and would want to understand where she’s coming from, what observations she’s made on men and women and ask her if her love life are headed the way she wants them to.
I guess if I met a female PUA I’d be more intrigued than anything else, and would want to understand where she’s coming from, what observations she’s made on men and women and ask her if her love life are headed the way she wants them to.
Anything else you want to say?
Thanks for this opportunity to voice my opinions in such a widely published paper! For any man looking to improve their social and love life, there is an answer.
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